


The Illuminating Summer

by LexiBunneh



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drunk Ian, F/M, Falling In Love, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Bad At Tagging, Love, Non-Canon Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 05:44:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3476672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexiBunneh/pseuds/LexiBunneh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A stranger meets Ian Gallagher and has every intention of delicately changing what he knows about love.</p><p> </p><p>"I roamed the streets as thoughts of Ian feverishly coursed through my mind. It was as if I was the shoreline and my thoughts of him were an endless incursion of waves; overlapping each other and encouraged by the moon..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Illuminating Summer

“It's such a shame.” The woman next to me says loudly over the blaring music, trying to disguise her words as a simple exhalation of air.  
I squeeze my almost empty drink between my fingers and press my elbows down harder against the bar as I gathered the courage to interact with her.  
“Whats that?” I asked, leaning over in her direction.  
“That such a pretty girl like you would be eyeing a man thats gayer than Christmas.”  
I cringe slightly. Was I that obvious? “C'mon. Let me buy you a drink.” She insists without a stitch of awareness in the vehement irony in the situation she presented. The guy who was stealing my gaze was the bartender, Ian Gallagher, and he had no idea that he was the cause for the butterflies that bloomed in my heart. He was a run-away, a ward of the state, just like me. No one else knew this with the exception of us sharing our secret to one another. The memory of him telling me replays in my mind all the time-- every night before I fall asleep and every morning while I lay in bed, fighting my fatigue to get up. We were at our day job, which is catering for an upscale country club type place. I've seen Ian before, but we've never interacted. His eyes met mine briefly from across the room that day as all the many employees gathered together for a meeting. It startled me and I glanced away as everyone crowded around our manager. I must have carried the scent of ashes, for as soon as management started talking, a voice next to me whispered in my ear.  
“Hey, wanna go outside for a smoke?”  
I jumped and instantly looked at the perpetrator, it was Ian. “No one will even notice we're gone. There's too many of us.” He said while gently tugging on the bottom of my shirt and nodding his head discretely towards the exit.

 

I couldn't suppress my giggles as the back door creaked open. I hurried past Ian while he held the door ajar.  
“Who do you think took it?” He murmured while fumbling to pull out a smoke.  
He was referring to a set of expensive led string lights that went missing from the club. The managers ushered the thief to come forward as we had slithered through the horde unnoticed.  
“Oh I have no idea, maybe the garbage guys?” I said, trying to suppress a smile by taking a drag of my freshly lit cigarette. For days now, my crime quietly illuminated my small apartment when dusk fell. I lived around the block, my residence was practically in the club's backyard. But my employers were elevated thanks to a hill and the slanted roof to my building made it so I could see them, but they couldn’t see me.  
Ian caught the lighter I tossed him, then looked at me sharply, like he had something to say (his lips parted) but then he just quickly closed his mouth and looked straight ahead. His dark brown eyes seethed as he lost himself in thought. Unbeknownst us, inside management was droning on about how we would be hosting his daughter's birthday party, and how we all would be required to dance.  
“So how did you end up here?” He finally asked, trying to stomp out the silence. He held his cigarette close to his chest, like it was his life.  
“I just--” I faltered for a minute and that hesitation caught his full attention. He used my lighter as a doorstop and stepped closer to me. “I couldn't really take my family anymore.” I said after several minutes.  
“Me either.” He said casually while blowing a few smoke rings. “I took up a job here after running away. I got tired of living in the slums. I don't know if I'll stay here longer or move on.”  
It was then that I realized, as we stood in the noise of our lungs expelling billows of smoke between us, that Ian was beautiful.

 

Sometimes Ian stripped in the bar, his movements were crisp and confident. But thats not why I visit.  
“Cranberry Vodka. Courtesy of your friend.” He says while sliding the drink in front of me, bringing me to the current moment.  
The butterflies in my heart flittered as his eyes subtly lock onto mine. The music flourishes as the dance floor lights flicker a foray of colors. Time slows before he moves across the bar to help another patron. _What was that?_  
“Honey, I'm sorry, I changed my mind, you got it bad. No amount of alcohol is going to help you.” The stranger leans over to shout to me. And just as she did, I swear he turned to look at me from the corner of his eye while pouring a drink and smirked.

 

I impatiently strummed my fingers across the arm of my chair. I cut out of the bar early, around midnight, but insomnia was haunting me, as it usually did. The string of decorative lights in the other room revealed the clock to show that it was three thirty in the morning. “Fuck it, I need a cigarette.” I said to the surviving darkness that lingered. I swiveled down my walkway while cupping my hand in front of the lighter's flame that swayed as I stuck a cigarette through it. I roamed the streets as thoughts of Ian feverishly coursed through my mind. It was as if I was the shoreline and my thoughts of him were an endless incursion of waves; overlapping each other and encouraged by the moon. I inhaled and exhaled the thick substance of smoke while passing under the unison of light from the streetlamps. The shades were drawn on all the houses, as if they were sleeping, like I should have been.  
A sudden thudding noise rips through the air as adrenaline thickens the blood streaming through my body. My placid demeanor leaves me as I edge towards the source of the loud sound. It came from a small alley in between two houses. My heart pounds in my head as I near closer and a streak of yellow light reveals the culprit.  
A small figure is crumpled against the wall, his head uncomfortably resting against his folded knees.  
“E-excuse me, are you alright?” I ask the person while slowly approaching.  
He groggily lifts his head up in response. Holy shit it's Ian. “Are you okay?” I ask, kneeling at his side and placing my hand on his shoulder.  
He looks at me with bewildered confusion at first, trying to focus his blurred vision.  
“Hey.” He whispers after a moment, with a genuine, but dazed smile.  
“What happened? Tell me whats going on?” I implore.  
“We were walking home from the party. Then I guess I blacked out.” He said as his eyes rolled around and his speech slurred, suggesting he drank too much or maybe more.  
“Who is 'we'?” I question.  
“My boyfriend.” He answers shakily, then falls instantly back asleep with his head against the wall.  
_His supposed lover just left him there._ Anger quietly roared through me as sirens shrieked in the distance.  
“Ian, come on.” I say while draping his arm over my shoulder and struggling as I pull him to his feet. “We have to go.” I insist as he sways back and forth. I grab his waist to steady him as his head bobs down. “Come on, you need to help me here.” I say as the weight of him squeezes the strength from me.  
Suddenly, he wakes up as if clarity slapped him in the face. He stumbles and I lose my balance. My back crashes into the wall as he steadies himself with his arms on both sides of my face. His body acts as a cage, keeping me from moving.  
“God, you are so beautiful.” He whispers, his face inches from mine. I could feel his lingering desire to kiss me, it simmered in his eyes. His breath was heavy with whiskey and cigarettes; _the scent that enamored me._ And then he passed out again.

It took me over an hour to somehow manage to walk us a block or two to my domicile. Relief washed over me as we stumbled towards my doorway.  
“Drink this.” I whispered while gently setting him down on the couch and pouring him a glass of water.  
He instantly laid down, his head resting on the arm on the sofa where I fretted earlier. As I delicately placed a blanket on him and proceed to walk to my bedroom, he grabbed my wrist.  
“Don't go.” He uttered in a low voice as his grip tightened. I could feel his somber gaze on me.  
“Okay, okay.” I mumbled.  
There was a certain loneliness to nighttime and I can just imagine trying to overcome the stress of the spins made it worse. I pulled up a chair and faced him. The nightlight of the club streamed in through the blinds and pin striped Ian's features as the sky started to grow lighter. He pulled the blanket up to his chin and started to violently shiver as the sunrise started to murmur.  
“I can't get warm.” He shuddered.  
It felt like my butterflies were playing the violin with the bones of my ribcage now. “Would you mind?” He questioned while lifting up the covers and insinuating. “Please. I'm fucking freezing.  
I have low blood sugar.” He grinned sheepishly. The dawn peeked in through my window as I climbed onto the couch with him and we embraced. My heart pounded as he rested his head on my chest while our legs and feet were a pleasant, tangled mess. “Why is your heart beating so fast?” He murmured, and then was sound asleep. Ian had a slight muscular build, but right now, he just felt frail. As I gently stroked his back, I thought of his usual placid, steel demeanor that dissolved so quickly in my arms. And amongst the gilded sunlight, the translucent butterflies, and the persistent throb of my heart, I realized Ian was fragile.

The noise of my ipod alarm clock going off tainted the air. Ian's eyes ripped open and he bolted from the couch.  
“I'm sorry,” I mumbled while sleepily rubbing my eye. “It's broken and goes off whenever it wants to.” I pulled the covers over me, but still watched him intently. He was extremely disheveled as Bass Hunter's song “Every Morning” rippled through the tension. Then he gave me a half smile.  
“I like this song.” He said while his eyes surveyed me, then he turned and headed for the door.  
“Wait--” I wanted to say something, but my mind went blank. I didn't want him to leave, but couldn't think of a reason for him to want to stay.  
He stopped with his hand on the doorknob.  
“You know I'm gay, right?” He asked while looking over his shoulder. “A zigzag is straighter than I am.” He said as if his orientation was solely his identity. The sound of the door opening and shutting was enough to pull the wings off my once thriving butterflies.

 

“Okay everyone. Partner up.” The instructor says to the crowd of us. You could practically hear all the employees secretly rolling their eyes. It was weeks ago that Ian stumbled into sharing a couch with me, and there were no more glances or covert cigarette breaks between us since then. I watch as my coworkers quickly pair up, everyone passing by Ian. A familiar flustered look takes hold of his facial features and his body tensed up as he stared down at his feet. I shamelessly brushed through the crowd.  
“May I have this honor?” I ask him with my hand politely extended.  
“I can't dance.” He says nervously while looking away and crossing his arms.  
_You can strip on the bar but you can't dance?_ My eyebrow twitches slightly.  
“Well then, you should've chosen a different profession.” I say in a low voice while reaching and taking his hand as our boss surveyed everyone. Anyone who refused to part take in dance training would be let go. Ian had skipped work a couple times and I knew catching up on what we learned wouldn't be easy.  
“Look I appreciate your help the other night.” He says as we entangle our fingers.  
I place my hand at his waist and straighten my back.  
“Then why does it sound like you really don't?” I whisper angrily.  
He snakes his arm around my waist.  
“I'm gay, okay?” He hisses as the instructor motions to begin the steps.  
“You're the one who asked to cuddle with me, okay?” I said harshly as we swayed to the right and he stepped on my foot. “Ow! Seriously?” I asked.  
He chuckled and his eyes lit up just like the sunrise we fell asleep under.  
“Sorry.” He shrugged as we stepped to the left.  
“I didn't force you to do anything!” I said while pulling myself closer to him.  
The hard, intoxicating scent of smoke rolled off his torso and I felt his body stiffen.  
“I don't believe you.” He said more to himself than to me as he pushed me away, then I spun on my heels and pulled myself into him. It was ungraceful and I slammed hard into his chest. He let out a low grunt on impact and I swear I felt him lightly smell my hair before I pulled away again. Anxiety plagued his face as we fell out of unity with the other dancers, yet became mesmerized in the presence of each other.  
“Just find a rhythm, you'll be okay.” I whispered against his jawline and squeezed his hand.  
I felt his face move; he was smirking with a raised eyebrow when I moved away. I knew what he was thinking.  
“It's just like sex?” He said softly against my ear while tucking my hair behind it.  
I couldn't help but smile as I felt the butterflies in my chest mend themselves together again. I looked up at him, but suddenly his face was cold and reserved again. We fell back into tempo with our co workers as we all swiveled around each other. I pressed my head under his chin and felt it shake. Abruptly, and without warning, he stopped.  
“Look,” He said while still holding my hand. “I am wildly attracted to you and it scares the shit out of me, okay?” He sauntered off the dance floor and bolted through the exit as everyone else continued around me-- their movements were synonymous to the restless pivot of untamed, shocked thoughts in my head.

 

“Good job tonight people.” My manager dictates as everyone says their good-byes and head home, but I linger.  
I watched quietly and secretively under a tree in the club's backyard as the maintenance team puts the finishing touches of decorative lights for the party. Smoke lazily drifted from my cigarette and nostrils as I daydreamed about stealing every last set. I sighed as the light at the end of my bogey burned out and the men called to each other to pack up. I leaned further into the cover of darkness as they moved out. I could almost touch my rooftop, if only it wasn't a backyard and another house away. They turned off the lights as I imagined they just simply forgot I was there. I mentally took a note of how to bring luminescence back into the open yard. Slowly, I crept over to the master switch as soon as all human sounds ceased. I breathed in as the soft whir of machinery brought the decorations back to life. The rich yellow light ripped through the night like burning stars of the atmosphere.  
“Hey.” A voice called out to me. _Shit!_  
I jumped down off the platform and ran for the gazebo, thinking it was a manager or security.  
“Hey!” The man shouted again, chasing after me as I threw my cigarette into the grass.  
“There goes my job.” I thought as I panted and the stranger caught up to me.  
He grabbed me and slammed me against a pillar holding the gazebo up.  
“Ian?” I asked as both our chests heaved, grasping at the air. He placed both arms on the side of me, as if gesturing: you're going nowhere. For a long while, neither of us said a word, only our struggle to breathe filled the cacophony of night. “How did you know I'd still be here?” I asked as his eyes bore into mine. He opened his mouth, as if to say something again, just like when we were playing hookey from the meeting, but instead of retreating, his lips slammed against mine.  
_My heart almost shattered from delicious shock._ We pulled each other close as the kiss deepened and under the exquisite lights, we gave into the eloquence of passion. He gently pulled off my shirt as my fingers snaked around the buckles of his belt. Our articles of clothing hit the concrete with a soft “plop.” I laughed into his lips and playfully shoved his shoulder. He picked me up effortlessly and placed me on top of the ledge. As I wrapped my legs around his waist, I tugged his shirt off in one quick motion. He hugged me as I gasped from the contact of flesh on flesh. _It felt just like brushing against the petals of a rose._  
A distant, but not too far off sound clicked into the air and I could barely hear it above our heavy, lusting breath. My broken ipod decided to turn itself on again and the beginning of Ellie Goulding's “Love Me Like You Do” rippled into the night, thanks to me accidentally leaving my window open. 

**If this wasn't an indicator from fate, then I don't know what would be.**

_You're the light, you're the night..._

I gently withdrew from Ian and jumped down off the gazebo while turning to him. I bit my thumb while smiling at him as an invitation to follow me.

_You're the only thing I wanna touch._

He raced after me and we kissed hard as he pressed me up against the tree, it's bark dug into my vulnerable skin. He pulled at the button of my pants as I ran my fingers through his hair.

_Follow me to the dark._

The grass was soft and dewey beneath my bare feet. I pushed Ian away again while biting my lip and ran through my neighbor's backyard.  
“Wait!” He laughed as goosebumps relentlessly prickled my skin. _I love you Ian, thats why my heart beats like a freight train near you. I knew the moment you smoked a cigarette with me._ There was a good foot between us and I had to keep going, otherwise I knew we wouldn't make it to my door if he caught up to me again. I shrieked with giggles as a dog barked nearby and Ian was right behind me. His fingertips brushed against my back as he tried to catch me and I felt the harsh sandpaper material of my roof under my feet. We jumped down gracefully and I rushed to unlock my front door before he apprehended me. It swung open and slammed against the wall as I ran up my stairs.  
“So thats where the lights went.” He said while kicking off his shoes and slithering out of his jeans in the doorway. He threw me a mischievous grin. He unraveled the decor from the railing while slowly making his way towards me. I stopped at the foot of the bed, with desire pulsing through me. The flames of the lights embellished and flickered in his eyes as he wrapped the string around himself.  
“Love me like you do, love me like you do.” He whispered and I shivered while he wrapped the remainder of the lights around me, binding me to him.  
I crawled on top of the bed on my knees, facing him. Every movement I made backwards towards the pillow, he mirrored. “I've never slept with a girl before.” He murmured while placing his hand on my cheek. His voice was devious with intention, yet so innocent all at once.  
“It's just like dancing.” I whispered against his lips as we both smiled.

The lights flickered with our every movement and then our shadows that swayed along the wall merged.

 

The warm sunlight peered in through the window as my ipod clicked on again.

_Love me, love me like you do._

My eyes were tracing the beauty in Ian's face when he stirred slightly. He caught a faint whim of consciousness, remembered where he was, and smiled. _He actually smiled._  
“I love this song.” He murmured with his eyes still closed.

I'm not sure if I'll ever see Ian again after today. I don't know what'll happen next. All I can be sure of is that _I'd love to keep dancing with him._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please feel free to comment, but please be gentle, this is my first fanfic! 
> 
> A huge thank you to my friend Audrey for holding my hand and guiding me through the posting process and for opening the door to Archive of Our Own. Thank you for also encouraging me to write this and for being the very first person to read it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I am unaffiliated with this series/creators. This work was not written for profit and is only intended for an audience.


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